


Floundering in the Unknown

by KaytheJay



Series: That of the Impossible [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: First Dates, Fluff, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Beelzebub finally contacted Gabriel, so he plans a series of activities for their meeting.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: That of the Impossible [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930234
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Floundering in the Unknown

Gabriel had gotten word from Beelzebub. They wanted to set up a meeting but demanded that Gabriel plan everything for it. Gabriel knew nothing of what this should be, so he had turned to Aziraphale and Crowley for help. Of which they weren’t at all. They had simply suggested that Gabriel take Beelzebub out to do something they both would enjoy. That much was more than obvious. 

So Gabriel had turned to the interwebs. Crowley and Aziraphale had been willing to allow him to use the Google thing. Crowley taught him how to use it. From there, Gabriel was able to come up with a list of things that were meant to impress someone. 

He checked his watch. Beelzebub was late. Perhaps they weren’t coming. Perhaps they had only agreed to do this because they wanted to humiliate Gabriel. He wouldn’t put it past the demon. Why wouldn’t they want to humiliate one of the highest-ranking angels of Heaven above? They were a  _ demon _ . They weren’t supposed to be actually interested in the angel. Just as he was about to give up, the ground bellow started to crack and Beelzebub appeared. 

“Sorry I’m late, I had a few things yet to tie-” They shook their head. They shouldn’t be apologizing to him. He should be so lucky to be in their presence. Besides, they were a demon. Demons didn’t apologize. “What do you have?” 

“Well, I have done a little research on how humans handle . . . this sort of thing,” Gabriel said. “I have decided on two activities. We will consume gross matter on the grass and we will go gaze at some fish.” 

“Don’t waste my time, Gabriel,” Beelzebub said flatly. Gabriel miracled the cardboard box that he’d filled with the gross matter before he’d left. 

“I’m not,” Gabriel said. “I promise.” Beelzebub gave him a look as if they didn’t believe him, but they were going to go along with it anyway. 

***

Gabriel led them to a park. Aziraphale had said that this park was a good park and that the two of them would blend in nicely. People go there all the time for what Gabriel was going to do. He found a random spot and sat down. Beelzebub started at him. 

“You expect me to  _ sit  _ on the  _ ground _ ?” Beelzebub shook their head. “No. Absolutely not. I will not accept this. Such disrespect.” They crossed their arms and glared at Gabriel. Gabriel opened the box and started pulling out all of the food that he’d packed.

“It is called a picnic!” Gabriel protested. Beelzebub stared at him in disgust. Gabriel shrugged. “More for me then,” he said as he unwrapped a sandwich. He still didn’t understand the joy of eating. He had been practicing it for long enough that he no longer threw it all back up (and Aziraphale said that was simply due to his stomach rejecting the matter due to Gabriel having never eaten in 6,000 years). He took a bite of the sandwich. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment. Beelzebub rolled their eyes and sat down beside him. Gabriel pulled out the sandwich he’d packed for them and handed it to them. 

“And humans do this for fun?” Beelzebub asked. Gabriel shrugged. 

“It seems so,” he said. He looked over to the box and noticed that a number of bugs had decided to crawl all over it. In the box, there were bugs infesting all of the food. He remembered Beelzebub’s fly and didn’t say anything. Perhaps the bugs were making the demon feel more at ease. He could ignore them. They had no idea who they were messing with anyway. “I don’t understand it though.” He shook his head. 

“Yes,” Beelzebub agreed, taking a bite of their own sandwich. “It seems rather strange to me. Sitting on the ground to eat when they invented tables. This is a civilized society. They are no longer cave people.” They shook their head. “And you said the next stop is to look at fish?” Gabriel nodded. 

“That is also a quite popular activity, it seems,” He said. 

“Humans are strange,” Beelzebub said. 

“I could not agree with you more.” 

“What else do you have in here,” Beelzebub said, looking into the box. “Bugs?” They looked up to him. “Do humans typically consume bugs?” 

“Well, no,” Gabriel said. “I thought that you’d summoned them.” Beelzebub furrowed their eyebrows. 

“Why would I summon bugs to come and take over your box?” They stared at the infestation. Still less annoying than some of the demons back in Hell, they had to admit. Gabriel lept off the ground and rubbed his leg. He glared at the ground. 

“It seems there is something there that causes pain,” Gabriel said. He looked around the area trying to find whatever it was he’d sat on. 

“Bugs bite sometimes,” Beelzebub said. “Perhaps you just found a biter.” 

“They  _ bite?”  _ Gabriel said in shock. “Then why would humans want to sit here and eat so close to them?” He put his hands in his pockets as a way to keep his corporation as far away from the bugs as possible. 

“My thoughts exactly, angel,” Beelzebub said. They stood up calmly and the box disappeared. “Perhaps your fish-viewing will be slightly better?” Gabriel shrugged. He didn’t want to promise anything because this also seemed quite strange. The only reason he was doing it at all was that he found that it was a popular activity among humans. 

Gabriel had found that a store called Walmart had fish somewhere in the store. He found that this would be optimal for their fish-viewing needs. If they had fish, they could look at said fish. 

They had a hard time finding the fish though. Gabriel could not for the life of him think of where they would put the fish. Walmart seemed to be some sort of superstore. They literally had everything. They were a grocery store, a sport store, a toy store, and a car store. Who needed that many different things in a single store?

“Where are the fish?” Beelzebub asked. “You said there would be fish here. I’ve seen everything but a fish.” Gabriel shrugged. He knew there were fish here somewhere. He just knew it. Beelzebub shook their head. “I didn’t even want to see fish, and yet here we are on a hunt for fish.” Gabriel shook his head.

“I have no idea where they are,” Gabriel admitted. “I just knew they had some here.”

“Knew or assumed because they have all sorts of other shit here so why the fuck not have fish too.” Gabriel remained quiet. Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “Well, is that it then?” 

“I-” Gabriel wasn’t ready to let them go. He knew that if he let them go off on this foot, they would never contact him again. But he was out of ideas. The picnic hadn’t worked like he’d hoped. He couldn’t find the fish at the Walmart like he’d hoped. He sighed. “That’s all I had planned. Was there something that you wanted to do?” Gabriel was letting out hope that they would say yes. That they would have an idea that would salvage this meeting. 

Beelzebub seemed lost in thought. Gabriel hoped that they were thinking over the pros and cons of continuing the meeting. Perhaps today had gone badly so far, but there had to be a way to salvage it. Perhaps a new activity would glue the pieces back together. An activity that Gabriel didn’t pick because obviously he didn’t know what he was doing when it came to doing this stuff. Perhaps further down the line this would be a funny memory. Maybe something good would come out of it eventually. 

“Alright, fine,” Beelzebub said. “I will give you one last chance to salvage this.” They pulled out their phone and searched for hang out ideas. They didn’t know what they were doing either. They found a museum and showed it to Gabriel. Gabriel nodded. A museum could be good. 

***

“Woah, that is  _ not  _ how that one happened,” Gabriel said with a laugh. “Humans are such idiots for thinking that.” Beelzebub smiled.

“Humans are such idiots anyway,” They replied. 

“That is true,” Gabriel said. “Who came up with the idea of museums anyway?” He laughed and shook his head. “They’re so  _ boring _ . No one needs a history lesson in their free time. If I wanted to sit through history again, I’d just go back through the backlogs and watch it again. This . . . this is just redundant.” 

“Perhaps they like to torture themselves. You would be amazed at what a human would do to look . . . cultured, as they’re calling it these days.” 

“Petty creatures,” Gabriel said. “In fifty years everything that they are doing will be worth nothing. I don’t understand why they even try.” Beelzebub shrugged. 

“Perhaps in fifty years what we’re currently doing is going to be in vain,” Beelzebub pointed out. “You never know with Her plans.” 

“I suppose that is a good point,” Gabriel said. Beelzebub looked at their watch and sighed. 

“Oh would you look at the time,” they said with dismay. “I must be going.” Before Gabriel had the chance to respond, they were gone. 

Gabriel could only hope that it wasn’t as an excuse to try and get away from him faster, through he couldn’t help the fear. He didn’t get to properly close the meeting as a human would, and he was quite disappointed by that fact. He sighed as he walked out of the museum. He didn’t even know if the meeting had been salvaged. But he wasn’t allowed to contact Beelzebub first. He was just going to have to wait and see what they said. If they said anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon and @justademonandtheirangel


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